This is great! I was considering becoming an author so that I could work out my issues by writing unbearable fiction and turgid novels, but this is much faster:
I appear to have skipped ahead to the 'past my prime and tweeting about it' stage already.
There might be a few problems with writing my autobiography at such an early stage (while complete fabrication may be commonplace -- you still need something to start from.)
Blurb: (it doesn't matter what is here -- same thing goes for all of the recommendations on the back cover from the worst writers in your generation.)
Preface: I'm going to have some difficulty with this part as most of the authors that I admire have passed on, are no more, have ceased to be, or have expired and gone to meet their maker.......
Introduction: I was born in an ordinary hospital, on an ordinary day, to ordinary parents, who would have guessed that from such a prosaic entrance into the world..............
Chapter 1: An account of a normal boring childhood that I successfully manage to represent as traumatic.
Chapter 2: In which I overcame the disadvantages of being raised an educated WASP in a WEIRD country, attended Berkley (and annoyed the heck out of every possible non-libertarian there -- in the hopes that their humorous reminicing gets on the special features DVD of the movie that they made from my autobiography.)
Chapter 3: I make my millions selling dog-tracking software, and then spend my leisure time winning Nobel prizes, and confirming the Riemman Hypothesis.
Chapter 4: After becoming famous enough to be persecuted by an opposing religious or political sect, I wrote a book about that.
Chapter 5: Climbed Everest and wrote another book.
Chapter 6: Where I do something unbelievably stupid, and my ashes are sent into space just to annoy Robin Hanson and my bio is finished by my AI named SAM, who also was the ghostwriter for my book about Everest.