Friday, April 10, 2015

value of a marginal "friend"

The value of a "marginal friend" as a false signal.

"Every additional second you spend thinking allows you to make a slightly more thoughtful answer but also increases what he expects of you. If he is very sharp, he will be read your reply and possibly see deeper into the question than you did making you look bad. "

I become very worried when I find my neurotic thoughts posted on the internet in more eloquent form. The world is far crazier than I give it credit for and everything I say could potentially be that much better....
Because my mental process is something more like this:
"Oh, interpersonal interaction required. Ineffectually attempt to shut down flight-or-fight response. Realize that every second you spend increases the expectation of the initiator. Try to answer quickly and not sound stupid. Look at stupid response. Try to find methods that do not result in stupidity, while understanding that since you've wasted this time the quality of your thought should reflect the extra time that you've "spent." Iterate. Eventually realize that it's not working. Give self a lecture and try to sound intelligent. Marginally better. Understand that you've been thinking about this for a comparatively long time, and you can only blame internet connectivity if it's actually happened because you completely suck at lying. Write a decent response that addresses every point except the single most obvious one that you thought of first (you forgot it because it was so completely obvious)"
Solution: pretend you are actually swamped and exhausted and finally managed to jot off a response, which also has the pleasant side effect of making people think you have a life... :)
(this does work better if you're actually swamped and exhausted occasionally.)

So of course I had this all worked out before, but not verbally condensed (as you can see,) the problem is that I never apply it. Also my brain should be completely messed up because I already have a spot in my brain tagged "the value of a marginal friend" and it relates to a completely different thought process....