I earnestly beseech you guys..........

A vow to mine own self:

 I shall be most careful to refrain from certain methods, that immediately put in one's mind the idea that the author was educated solely in victorian literature (due to the unnecessary explanations, which insult one's intelligence) that with a certainty, gives rise to the pervasive illusion that such persons were incapable of proper punctuation.
Therefore, in order to conscientiously affirm and reinforce this new life-goal, I've prepared a series of notes on the aforementioned subject. So, to remind myself of the peril of such linguistic forays into the diabolically antecedent world, and to avoid the tortuously lengthy and uninformative introductions of my forbearers:

I oughtn't use the word 'must.' In addition, 'hint of' (with it's subtle allusions to a soiree,) I perceive will cause me to be exposed to much mockery.
Use of the words: 'cordiality,' 'chap' and the making references to 'chimney sweeps' as everyday fixtures of contemporary life, is also quite daft.

Therefore, I charge you, in this virtual conclave, a gathering of like minds on the internet, to assidously avoid unwieldy verbage, antiquated memes, and 'tired and worn' sentence fragments.